Thursday, February 28, 2008

Umm yeah, that will work.

I know this is mean, but I almost hope that some one took the bike, or at least moved it to another near by location just to teach the owner a lesson. The purpose of a bicycle lock is to lock the bike to place where no one can steal it. By using a pole like this totally defeats the purpose don't you agree?

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Always read the fine print.

Things are not always that they seem.
If it sounds too good to be true it probably is.

You think that these would be lessons that she should have learned about by age 26, but then again I don't think she got hired at Hooters for the size of her brain.

Monday, February 25, 2008


Are you lonely? Sick of sitting alone home on Saturday nights? Are you missing that someone special in your life?

Well look no longer you can always....DATE LANCE

From the site:
Who is Lance?
Hometown: Potomac, MD
Lives in: Provo, UT.
Age: 31
Occupation: Director of Marketing, Logoworks
Height: 6'3" Weight: 180
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Brown
Mission: Finland
Degrees held: BS in Finance, BYU; MBA, Harvard
Special Skills: Basketball and negotiation
Favorite Restaurant: Los Hermanos

Who is Lance looking for?
We're not totally sure, but whoever it is, it's taking him a little longer than usual for a guy with these credentials. Lance is a really nice guy, so someone nice would probably be good. And he's one of eight kids, and we think he wants a lot of kids, so you'd have to be down with the 'big family' thing. Why don't you submit yourself, submit a friend, or tell a friend to help us help him?

Are you woman enough for Lance? Do you really really need a date? Drop Lance a line, hey you never know!

Friday, February 22, 2008

That wasn't chicken.

Location , location, location! How many times have we heard this? It is all about the location. I like to think that some twisted mind in the pet store did this on purpose. It is a joke right up my alley. While I know all the urban legends regarding my favorite food, this just cracked me up.

I wonder how many other people noticed this.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Ewww gross, but point taken

A restroom advertising promoting hand-washing. The sign on the doorknob says: "You washed. This guy didn't." or "92% of guys say they washed. 34% were lying."

Very clever way of getting the message across. I wash do you? That is one thing that always squicks me out, when I see people not washing after they have used a toilet I just cringe. If I have one of my daughters with me in the restroom I will make a point of telling them how very important it is t wash your hands after you go. Still need to work up the nerve to confront the offenders one on one though.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Coffee shakedown

Latte art or coffee art refers to designs created on the tops of espresso based drinks by a barista. These designs are usually created in one of two ways and sometimes using a combination of both. The first method is by manipulating the flow of milk from a jug into the espresso (known as free pour latte art). The second is by drawing designs with an implement (known as etching), using stencils, powders and milk foam. Latte art is most commonly seen on a latte, although it can also be part of the presentation of a cappuccino, a cafe mocha or even an espresso macchiato. As the popularity of premium espresso-based drinks has risen, the craft of garnishing through latte art has as well. As has the costs of said drinks. Honestly there is no coffee in the world that is worth paying $5.00 plus a cup for, hell anything over a $2.00 is too much. Honestly why pay more for something that is only going to last the walk from the counter to your seat.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

No. No you are not.

I have nothing at all against tattoos. I have three of them. I am totally against dumb shits like this guy, getting them.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Just in case you didn't know...

I always find instructions and some warnings on items to be humorous. Because you know that there really are people out there that stupid. You know that some dumbass somewhere actually had to do this.

Some more I have come across;

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (no shit)
On a curling iron: For external use only!
On a hair dryer: Do not use in shower
On a can of air freshener: For use by trained personnel only.(You need special training for this?)
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (umm ok)
On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets: Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems.
On a package of peanuts: Warning: May contain nuts. (get out of here)
On A toilet plunger: Caution: Do not use near power lines. (I have to know thw back story on this one)
On a floodlight: This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark.
On a mattress: Warning: Do not attempt to swallow.
On a pack of matches: Caution: Contents may catch fire.
On a RCA Television Remote Control: Not Dishwasher Safe
On Home Depot Treated Lumber: Do not consume.
On a 35 mm camera: This camera will only work when film is inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (as opposed to what?)
On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow: Not intended for highway use.
On a package of deodorant: Do not use intimately. (close call on if I really want to know).

The list could go on and on. It saddens me that there are so many stupid people out there. Even sadder I think I know some of them.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Laissze Les Bons Temps Rouler

Yes it is Fat Tuesday today, Mardi Gras, the last day of Carnival, looks like Billy's got his beer goggles on. I think it would take a lot more than those two cans to get me to look at Billy that way.

So grab that King Cake, Pączki, or pancakes and enjoy one more day of debauchery, after all that is what today is all about!

Ok I just flashed ya where are my beads?

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Momma always said...

to put on a clean pair of underwear each day because, "you never know you just might get hit by a bus and you wouldn't want them to find you with dirty underwear on now would you?".

Too bad this guy is wearing his mamma's undies today.
I bet cracks were made all day about it.
I just don't think that he can pull off the hot pink thong look.

If you are going to work, and there is a chance you might be bending over you might want to be careful what kind of underwear you pick to wear that day.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Poor kid ain't got no chance.

Okay that hurt me a little to write.

Just say NO to double negatives! Please.

A double negative is the nonstandard usage of two negatives used in the same sentence so that they cancel each other and create a positive. In Shakespeare's day, double negatives were considered emphatic, but today, they are considered grammar mistakes.

I also consider them the mark of an uneducated speaker.

Sorry babe but you can't get by on those good looks all your life.
A proper education will take you farther and get you more respect.