Tuesday, January 29, 2008

No beating around the bush

Now while those that choose to live this lifestyle will agree that there is nothing sexual about it. In fact many will state the health benefits and religious beliefs of going around in the buff.

A sign like this is just an open invitation.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Kind of an oxymoron isn't it?

I don't think that it is possible to use the words George Bush and intelligence in the same sentence. Granted this is in reference to George H. Bush and not our current idiot in office. But still renaming the Headquarters compound of the Central Intelligence Agency located in Langley, Virginia the "George Bush Center for Intelligence" does not seem like the smartest move.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

How about some fries to go with that shake?

Now that is what he calls a Happy Meal.
You cannot wipe that grin of Ronald's face.
Kind of gives new meaning to the McDonald's Playplace don't it?

Were you expecting anything less of me? If you have been following this blog you should have known better by now. (For the record no that is not me.)

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I got a VD!!

And you can have one too, well that and number of other ailments.
Giant Microbes

Yes gone are the days of stuffed bears, puppies, and bunnies. Nothing says I love you like giving the one you love the Clap.

According to their site~ We make stuffed animals that look like tiny microbes—only a million times actual size! Now available: The Common Cold, The Flu, Sore Throat, Stomach Ache, Cough, Ear Ache, Bad Breath, Kissing Disease, Athlete's Foot, Ulcer, Martian Life, Beer & Bread, Black Death, Ebola, Flesh Eating, Sleeping Sickness, Dust Mite, Bed Bug, and Bookworm (and in our Professional line: H.I.V. and Hepatitis).

Each 5-to-7 inch doll is accompanied by an image of the real microbe it represents, as well as information about the microbe.

They make great learning tools for parents and educators, as well as amusing gifts for anyone with a sense of humor!
* * * *
What a clever way to let your latest lay know that now they too may have herpes. Sure beats the old, "umm by the way there is something you should know", speech. How could they be mad at you once you hand them that cute little critter?

So this Valentines Day forget the roses or jewelry because nothing says I love you babe like Chlamydia does.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Sweet Dreams

Ahhh Japan you bring us so many wonderful inventions, including this...

Hizamakura knee lap pillow

Missing that special someone?
Longing for the feeling of comfort and warmth you only from a woman’s lap?
Maybe you just want to take a nap and need a pillow?

Shaped just like a beautiful woman’s lap, kneeling in Japanese-style, the Hizamakura “Lap Pillow” gives the best re-creation available, complete with your choice of a red or black skirt to top it off. Hizamakura is soft and elastic to the touch, and perfectly suited to lying your head on. You’ll be surprised at how comfortable and real it feels!
Specifications:• Material: Polyurethane• Skirt material: Polyester• Skirt Color: Black or Red (please choose one)• Box size: 285mm × 590mm × 285mm• Weight: Approximately 1.9kg

In a way I think this is better than having an actual head in your lap, no drool, no sweat, no complaints if you move. I have too many things to do each day then to sit there while someone sleeps in my lap.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Hey babe, want to go to Fucking today?

What a dirty, dirty town.

Fucking, Austria
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The frequently stolen traffic sign, at the entrance to the village of Fucking.
Fucking ['fʊkɪŋ]; rhymes with "looking") is an Austrian village in the municipality of Tarsdorf in the Innviertel region of western Upper Austria.

It is located 32 km north of Salzburg and 4 km east of the border with Germany, half an hour's ride from Petting in Bavaria.

The village is known to have existed as "Fucking" since at least 1070 and is named after a man from the 6th century called Focko. "Ing" is an old Germanic suffix indicating the people of the root word to which it is attached, thus "Fucking," in this case, means “(place of )Focko’s people." The village has a population of 93.

Fucking's most famous feature is a traffic sign with its name on it, beside which tourists often stop to have their photograph taken. It is a commonly stolen street sign. Significant amounts of public funds have been spent on replacing the stolen signs.

In 2004, mainly due to the stolen signs, a vote was held on changing the village's name, but the residents voted against doing so. In August 2005 the road signs were replaced with theft-resistant signs welded to steel and secured in concrete to prevent further chances of the sign being stolen.
With only 93 people in that town I wonder what there is to do in town, well besides the obvious. I have to laugh at the fact that people were constantly stealing the street sign. I picture it hanging in some boy's university dorm room all his friends getting a good laugh.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Fun field trip.

A school bus at a porn shop hmmm....I wonder who signed the permission slip for this one?

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Why should Fido have all the fun?

Not everyone is a dog person, so why should Fido, Rex, Rover get all the fun and benefits of getting out of the house? Everyone enjoys a change of scenery, now Goldie can too.

Don't let your favorite fish get bored by keeping him in the tank all day long...take him with you in this handy traveling case.

No longer do you need to have a friend come over to feed him while you go on vacations just bring your little fish friend along.

Sick of seeing those celebs showing off their little dogs all the time? Well one up them by showing the world how much your little buddy means to you.

It is a great conservation piece and the kids will love it!

Just remember not to jostle the bag. They don't like it.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Laziness taken to a whole new level.

Now let me set aside the all of the safety concerns that this image stirs up in me. That is a whole rant in itself. (Stupid twit of a mom there). But how freaking lazy do you have to be to use a Segway Human Transporter to walk your child. Or even use one instead of just plain old fashioned walking? I find it so sad that some are this lazy. I mean come on now people walking won't kill you, but using something that has no brakes and whose movements are controlled by yours just might cause an accident or two. (Especially if you are preoccupied by something else, umm let's say the safety for your child?).

I really cannot see an way that a healthy, able bodied person would use this except for the laziness factor.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Service you just won't believe.

Wonder if they aren't there in 30 minutes if they're free?

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Fashion faux pax

Well shucks y'all. Here I done n' made some fashion fo pa. Ias done n' gone made a fool of myself by wearin' just some jeans n' a long sleeve cotton shirt to the local Wally World. Ias shoulds of been in my Sunday best to go there. I must let that Mz Debra know that Ias in da wrong there, and to thank her for setting me straight. Ooo I a hear dat they be buildin' a Super Wal Mart near me soon. I guess Ias be needing to go and get me some formal wear, I mean really fancy duds for that place.

Ok seriously now dressed up for Wal Mart? Wal Mart? (bangs head on desk).

Monday, January 7, 2008

Must be slow sports week when....

You see this....Extreme Ironing!

I shit you not!

our local news even did a segment on it and had one of their reporters iron at the base of Niagara Falls


Now just how drunk did a bunch of guys have to be to come up with this idea? I cannot believe that this so called sport has a pretty regular following.

Wikipedia's entry on this includes the following;

Extreme Ironing (or EI) is an extreme sport and a performance art in which people take an ironing board to a remote location and iron a few items of clothing. According to the official website, extreme ironing is
“the latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt."


Before heading into the mainstream, extreme ironing was used by the band Monster Magnet in the video for their song "Negasonic Teenage Warhead" from their album Dopes to Infinity (1995) (this useage was most likely unintentional, as the video features the band members performing perfectly ordinary activities on asteroids). However, purists of the sport will claim that it was started in 1997 in Leicester, East Midlands, England by resident Phil Shaw in his back garden. Shaw came home from what he recalls as a hard day in a Leicester knitwear factory.[3] Preferring the idea of an evening out rock climbing, he decided to combine the two activities into a new extreme sport. In June 1999, Shaw, who uses the nickname "Steam", embarked on an international tour to promote the activity. The stops included the United States of America, Fiji, New Zealand, Australia and South Africa. An encounter with German tourists in New Zealand led to the formation of a group called "Extreme Ironing International", and the German Extreme Ironing Section or GEIS.

As extreme ironing has branched off, the conditions can gain in extreme activity. For example a branch of ironing has been developed that includes both bungee jumping and well-pressed clothing. Bungee ironing is, what some would call, the ultimate in the thrill of extreme ironing.

A documentary, titled Extreme Ironing, was filmed for Britain's Channel 4. The programme concentrates on the rivalry between the EIB (Extreme Ironing Bureau) and a breakaway group called Urban Housework. It was later aired on the National Geographic Channel.[2]

In 2003, Phil Shaw released a book published by New Holland Publishers, also entitled Extreme Ironing[4]. The following year saw the release of a DVD titled Ironing Under the Sky, which was produced by Hot Under the Collar (HUTC) Productions. A follow-up documentary was made in 2004, this time by RDF and HUTC, which was aired on Sky's Adventure One channel the following year.

In 2003 the Rowenta Trophy was won by a group from South Africa by ironing across a gorge at the Wolfberg Cracks.

In 2004, the EIB traveled to the US on the Rowenta Tour to recruit additional ironists and ironed at Mount Rushmore, New York, Boston and Devils Tower.

Ummmmm okay I think I'll pass. I dread the day ESPN picks this up, bad enough they broadcast poker games and kids playing Speed Stackers. Hell if ESPN really is that hard up for stuff to put on the air why not make the life of mom's a sport. The diaper dash, keep the wet kid in the tub, followed by dress the kid who loves to be naked. Feeding time, if the baby keeps the strained peas inside the mouth 5 points! Then again it may be more fun watching the dad's do all that, and still managing to have dinner on the table, laundry and dished done, house dusted and vacuumed. grocery shopping done. You know all that stuff moms usually do and don't get paid for.

Kind of gives new meaning to the word Ironman.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

How true...how true

I think that hell is a more appropriate name than Shell for this gas station as well as all the others now a days. Something really needs to be done about the outrageous prices that we are paying at the pump. It is pretty sad when 1/3 of my weekly allotment of money for gas, groceries, and other small stuff is being spent on gas alone.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

For the couple that shares everything

I bring you the TwoDaloo. Billed as A Supertoilet That Saves Rocky Marriages and The Planet

The TwoDaLoo is billed as the world's first toilet two people can use ... at the exact same time. It brings couples closer together and conserves our water supply all with one flush. The TwoDaLoo features two side-by-side toilet seats with a modest privacy wall in between. An upgraded version includes a seven inch LCD television and iPod docking station.

A steal at $1,400 well for the basic model, (and that is of course if you buy the minimum of twelve). I wonder what the mark up on these things are and how much the upgraded version goes for? How soon until we start seeing these at the Home Depot? Never I hope.

Now I love my husband but I really don't want to be in the bathroom with him while he is taking a dump. Nor do I want him in there while I am. The only good thing that I can see about it is that my kids always seem to have to go at the exact same moment. That or when the family is sick with the stomach flu, we're not all fighting for a place to vomit in. (Trust me four people sick with the flu at the same time is not a pretty picture).

Now I don't know about you, but most men I know already spend a lot of time in the john. A lot of my friends and family members always seem to have this gripe about their husbands and sons. It makes me wonder what the next will step be? A mini fridge in the cabinet under the sink. That would be a man's paradise. We might not see them ever again, that is of course until we had to go.