Santa's got a brand new...

Sack....


Have you been naughty or nice?

The Perfect Gift

Yes it is that time of year again when our thoughts turn to Christmas presents. For all you men out there like my husband who waits until the last minute, why don't you give the gift that keeps on giving.



Then again, maybe not. I cannot believe that the manager approved of this sign. Sure it is good for a few giggles but come on now.

quotes scare me

Yes I am one of those people who just about always carries a camera in her purse, and at times like tis I am glad I do.


I have to wonder why wash hands is in quotes. Is it some inside joke at the establishment? If you ever seen the movie Waiting you know where I am coming from. Now I know that it is just a typo, (please let it just be a typo), but still the grammar geek inside of me is horrified. And which employee is it that has to wash their hands? I'd hope it was all of them.

Bob Barker was on the right path

but I think this guy is right on the money. I think we all know at least one person who really should be fixed.

No shit.

Notice the quote, "We had no idea anyone was burried there". It is a mausoleum, what the hell did they think was inside of it, sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows? Headlines like this leave me speechless, and makes me wonder just how some of the human race manages to survive.

And you thought your job was the pits

Just always remember it could be a whole lot worse.

A religious experience

I have to disagree, I have known a few people who swear that they have seen God by err...laying in bed.

This explains a lot

Well after seeing this I can finally understand why Taco Bell is always screwing up our orders. My husband always shakes his head and wonders if they seek out employees that cannot get orders right. Well we now have concrete proof of it. I can't even tell you how many times that TB screwed up our orders. Damn those chalupas being so good, if it weren't for them and the steak tacos we'd never set foot in one again.

You know there had to be somebody.

I love it when I see signs like this, I really do. You know that it means there that had to be at least one total dipshit out there who had to actually do it.

Here fishy fishy.

Wonder where they get their daily specials?

Well that helps...NOT!

Next time try Dear Abby.

and if you believe this...

I got some choice property in Southern Florida that I'd love to sell ya, oh and a bridge in Brooklyn too.

Sorry fellas size DOES matter, no matter what we may tell you.

Slippery when wet

Makes one wonder just what is on those floors. Sure hope they aren't sticky as well. I'd hate to be one of the cleaners here that is for sure.

Funny how the addition of a little note of caution to customers can make something that I'd just roll my eyes at passing by into something that makes me want to wet my panties.

Toilet Humor

This guy really knows his shit!

Bring on the meat!

After seeing an image like this I am all bring on the meat baby. I may never eat another veggie again!

Domestic dolts

Silly me, all this time I thought Mexico was another country. Damn the American school system.

*A big thank you to Jameroo for letting me use her photo.

Hanes HER way

Look closely...


Now I have to ask you this?
Who sits and looks at a pair of men's briefs and says hmmmm...I can make a nice summer top from these!! On the other hand...$6 for a three pack is a good price!!

This is why I am NOT a fan of NASCAR

YIKES is all I can really say at this photo. If I were forced to sit behind this at a track I think that I'd soon be jumping the barrer and praying that I get hit. There is just not enough eye bleach to wash this image out of my brain.

Thanks for the tip

Ah people after my own heart! The most I ever did was have my then baby sister chant "Where's my food?!" at Pizza Hut after a 40 minute wait for a pan pizza. Shit heads didn't even comp our bill. They brought us a free order of bread sticks. BFD right?

Holy guano Batman

Looks like Bruce Wayne is screwed.

Is the force still with him?

Thank you to all Vets past, present, and future!



Looks like tough times are hitting just about everyone these days. You know it has to be bad when you see a Sith Lord begging on the streets. Then again you have to wonder why Darth just isn't mugging people with his life saber or using the force to crush people's windpipes when they won't hand over their wallets. Use the force Vader, wave your hand in front of someone's face and say, "You will hand me your wallet, and that watch."

A smart man you are not. Lazy you are. Shame.

Let's get physical

Physical fitness has become so important to so many people recently, more and more people are heading to the gym. People are eating healthier, quitting smoking, drinking more water, taking the stairs instead of the elevator...


well okay. Some are. Am I missing something here? Isn't the point of going to the gym to get some exercise? Do these these people realize that they are defeating the purpose of going to the gym? Are 15 steps really too many to walk up? Or is this just another testament to the true laziness of the American?

Got bilk?

A brewery in Hokkaido, Japan recently released a low-malt beer using milk. The idea came from the son of a liquor store who is in the dairy farm industry. After having a problem of discarding milk, he proposed the local brewery to produce the milk beer. As one-third of beer is milk, it is the good way to help local farmers. The beer called “Bilk” came from beer+milk. The taste of beer is like a taste of fruits and it goes well with sweets. Because of its fruity flavor, Bilk hopes to be popular among women.

Erin Brockovich ; She's a superfreak

While surfing the net one day I came across this picture. I saved it because it made me giggle and now once again I have use for it. Granted it is from the year 2000, but I think it will fit in well here. You know that this was done on purpose by some teenager working at the theater for minimum wage for shits and giggles.

She don't swallow

Sometimes you come across an ad and just have to say What the hell?



If my husband sees this ad he'd for sure run out ad buy me the entire Puma line. I guess by wearing Puma products women get this urge to drop to their knees and give blow jobs.

I'm coming.

Okay I admit it I have a 13 year old boy living inside of me. I seen this slide and just could not stop giggling. Sometimes I wonder just who designs these things and wonder if it is on purpose. I can picture them as a bunch of 30-something virgins who could not not get laid at hooker-con. I see them snickering away just like I did, getting off on the whole dirty aspect of such an innocent child's play thing. (Then again part of me would like to get a whole lot of vanilla pudding and well you get the picture ;-) )

LOL Cats branching out?

Ok I have to admit that yes I have laughed at a few of the LOL Cats entries. But come on now McDonalds without the cute kitty it just does not work.

Sometimes mom really does know best.

Remember mom telling you "don't take candy from strangers", well she was talking about this guy here.

A little light humor

My friend Wendy sent me this gem, thanks bunches!



I wonder if they are giving these out as product promos at some Doctor's offices?

Now that is what I call support.

But I need to know will they lift and seperate?

Proselytizer be gone!

Ok not an ad, sign or stupid human, but something I found to be as funny as hell none the less. Something one might try when those pesky proselytizers come a knocking at your door. I don't know if it is the late hour here or my spiked lemonade but I am giving serious consideration to this idea. I am perfectly happy in my heathen ways here and have no desire to convert to any other belief system. I enjoy being a sarcastic beotch too much. ;P

Hell with the cost of the ad she better put out.

Points have to go to the guy for creativity, although I still wouldn't respond to his ad.

Decisions...decisions.

Got to love this lady and her ad. I don't know the longer I stay married the more I start to think I'll keep the cat.

The head of their class they were not.

No you are not seeing things. Yes that is a power strip in a pool being supported by flip flops. And yes those drunken fools are in the pool. It almost makes me want to throw somthing into that pool to tip the power strip and fry those idiots. How stupid do you have to be? Even my 3 year old knows that water and electricity do not mix. Any one want to bet that these boys are still single?

No better advertising than this

They have to be good right? You don't see Christ dying for Krispie Kremes now do you?

This about sums it up

Any one else feel like they are taking it up the ass when it comes to gas prices. Our local news reports that our area is paying fifteen cents more than the national average. The cheapest I have seen has been $3.49 in my area. SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE ABOUT THIS, come Memorial Day weekend they are expecting at least $4.00 a gallon. I wonder when the rationing is going to start.

Where was the layout editor on this one?

Ok sometimes you have to wonder if the person working on the layouts of the ads actually reads what the ads are for, or if they just have a twisted sense of humor.

Nothing like the smell of...

Poopy seed bread, ahhhh breath it in. I wonder if it tastes like it smells?

Those aren't like mommy's.

Seems this daddy is getting his boy off to an early start.

I just love the look on this kid's face. I keep coming up with all these captions for this picture.

Right on!

Something any true hockey fan will agree upon. Got to love those refs with their half-assed calls.

Yeah it is the noise that is dangerous...

She says as she puffs away on a cigarette. Because obviously they will not affect the unborn baby in any, shape, or form. What does the Surgeon General know anyways? Don't you just love people like this?

Wal Mart strikes again!

Seriously where do they find some of their employees? More importantly WHY do they hiring them?

While the cake for dear Suzanne was essentially ruined by the stupidity of the cake decorator working there, (the one that has no common sense and that cannot spell), it was kept just for the laugh factor. Luckily Suzie-Q didn't mind and got a good chuckle out of it herself.

Umm yeah, that will work.

I know this is mean, but I almost hope that some one took the bike, or at least moved it to another near by location just to teach the owner a lesson. The purpose of a bicycle lock is to lock the bike to place where no one can steal it. By using a pole like this totally defeats the purpose don't you agree?

Always read the fine print.

Things are not always that they seem.
If it sounds too good to be true it probably is.

You think that these would be lessons that she should have learned about by age 26, but then again I don't think she got hired at Hooters for the size of her brain.

Desperate?

Are you lonely? Sick of sitting alone home on Saturday nights? Are you missing that someone special in your life?

Well look no longer you can always....DATE LANCE



From the site:
Who is Lance?
Hometown: Potomac, MD
Lives in: Provo, UT.
Age: 31
Occupation: Director of Marketing, Logoworks
Height: 6'3" Weight: 180
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Brown
Mission: Finland
Degrees held: BS in Finance, BYU; MBA, Harvard
Special Skills: Basketball and negotiation
Favorite Restaurant: Los Hermanos

Who is Lance looking for?
We're not totally sure, but whoever it is, it's taking him a little longer than usual for a guy with these credentials. Lance is a really nice guy, so someone nice would probably be good. And he's one of eight kids, and we think he wants a lot of kids, so you'd have to be down with the 'big family' thing. Why don't you submit yourself, submit a friend, or tell a friend to help us help him?

Are you woman enough for Lance? Do you really really need a date? Drop Lance a line, hey you never know!

That wasn't chicken.

Location , location, location! How many times have we heard this? It is all about the location. I like to think that some twisted mind in the pet store did this on purpose. It is a joke right up my alley. While I know all the urban legends regarding my favorite food, this just cracked me up.




I wonder how many other people noticed this.

Ewww gross, but point taken

A restroom advertising promoting hand-washing. The sign on the doorknob says: "You washed. This guy didn't." or "92% of guys say they washed. 34% were lying."

Very clever way of getting the message across. I wash do you? That is one thing that always squicks me out, when I see people not washing after they have used a toilet I just cringe. If I have one of my daughters with me in the restroom I will make a point of telling them how very important it is t wash your hands after you go. Still need to work up the nerve to confront the offenders one on one though.

Coffee shakedown

Latte art or coffee art refers to designs created on the tops of espresso based drinks by a barista. These designs are usually created in one of two ways and sometimes using a combination of both. The first method is by manipulating the flow of milk from a jug into the espresso (known as free pour latte art). The second is by drawing designs with an implement (known as etching), using stencils, powders and milk foam. Latte art is most commonly seen on a latte, although it can also be part of the presentation of a cappuccino, a cafe mocha or even an espresso macchiato. As the popularity of premium espresso-based drinks has risen, the craft of garnishing through latte art has as well. As has the costs of said drinks. Honestly there is no coffee in the world that is worth paying $5.00 plus a cup for, hell anything over a $2.00 is too much. Honestly why pay more for something that is only going to last the walk from the counter to your seat.

No. No you are not.

I have nothing at all against tattoos. I have three of them. I am totally against dumb shits like this guy, getting them.

Just in case you didn't know...

I always find instructions and some warnings on items to be humorous. Because you know that there really are people out there that stupid. You know that some dumbass somewhere actually had to do this.

Some more I have come across;

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (no shit)
On a curling iron: For external use only!
On a hair dryer: Do not use in shower
On a can of air freshener: For use by trained personnel only.(You need special training for this?)
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (umm ok)
On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets: Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems.
On a package of peanuts: Warning: May contain nuts. (get out of here)
On A toilet plunger: Caution: Do not use near power lines. (I have to know thw back story on this one)
On a floodlight: This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark.
On a mattress: Warning: Do not attempt to swallow.
On a pack of matches: Caution: Contents may catch fire.
On a RCA Television Remote Control: Not Dishwasher Safe
On Home Depot Treated Lumber: Do not consume.
On a 35 mm camera: This camera will only work when film is inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (as opposed to what?)
On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow: Not intended for highway use.
On a package of deodorant: Do not use intimately. (close call on if I really want to know).

The list could go on and on. It saddens me that there are so many stupid people out there. Even sadder I think I know some of them.