If you need this...you should not reproduce.

Now if you need instructions on how to check a baby's diaper, it probably means that you should not breed. Ever.

While it will cause great amusement for others, "hey honey, remember when Billy was a baby and I asked you to check if he needed to be changed... (hysterical laughter) and you (panting from laughing so hard) shoved your entire hand down the back of his diaper and it came out covered in poop? It will spread to the entire family, friends, who in turn will share the moment with their family and friends and so on and so on. It will no doubt lead to a lifetime of mockery for you. (Much deserved mockery I may add and just wait until the grandkids find out).